Setting Your New Year Intentions

I love this time of year as we go through the natural cycle of completion, and move into new beginnings.  I’m using this time to reflect on the past year and reorient myself to what is important to me.

I take some time-out to sit quietly and let my mind settle, and then reflect on the previous year and ask questions such as:

What has been successful and working well this last 12 months? What have I felt proud of?  What personal strengths and qualities do I have? What in my life gives me a sense of meaning and purpose? What have I enjoyed?  What felt meaningful and satisfying in the different areas of my life? What feels complete?

I give myself time for the thoughts and memories to form in my mind, being as specific as I can about particular instances that worked well.  I let the pleasant sensations and thoughts fully form and settle in and enjoy them.  We don’t often allow enough time to really acknowledge and let the positives and goodness sink in, but ‘skim’ across them!

I also ask: What doesn’t sit comfortably about last year?  What opportunity did I pass up? What do I wish I had spent more time doing?  What would I like to do differently this year?  These questions can be uncomfortable to contemplate, but they can help direct attention to what is important, and hone in on what I would like to focus on in the future.

To help me get a broader perspective, I love the following questions to contemplate:

Imagine my 80th birthday speech where 2 or 3 people spoke about me and what I stand for. In my ideal life what would I hear them saying about me.

If I could wave a magical wand and have the perfect life (with my current resources), what would I be doing? What new things would I start? What would I stop?  How would I behave differently?

What do I dislike/disapprove of in others? – This can help point towards what I value in myself. 

Can I connect with any emotional pain in my body – what is this part of me longing for?

These questions can help point to values and areas to focus on.

From the notes I take during this contemplation, I then list the (NVC) needs that are prominent and pull out 3 or 4 things that I would like to focus on, then brainstorm some strategies to help put them into action on a daily/weekly basis.

How can we make our intentions into reality?

What you focus your attention on grows, so if you spend a few minutes every day reading the intentions you created out loud to yourself, they are more likely to happen. A great time to read through your intentions is in the morning before you get started with your day. Think about the specific times during the day that you can act on your intention. 

Consider what might get in the way?  Be realistic about what might come up to prevent you from living your intentions/values

Then review at the end of the day to see if you were able to act on your intention and how it was.  If not, how can you tomorrow? Be aware of any negative ‘beating yourself up’ if you don’t do it! Acknowledge any needs that took priority over the intention. Or do you just need practice? Does anything need adjusting to make it more realistic?  Do you need support?

The more often you bring your attention to your needs and values, the more likely they are to flourish. Read your highlighted needs, values and actions out loud to yourself daily/weekly/monthly.  You may decide to read them daily for the first week, and then weekly for the next month and then once a month re-read. This will keep bringing your attention back, and make it more likely you will follow through and make changes.  Modify if needed, to keep it meaningful.

Be really mindful of the negative thoughts that arise, such as "This will never work", “I’ve tried this sort of thing before”, “I will never get this right”, “I will never remember”,  or  "I'll never be able to have what I want".   These sorts of thoughts are likely to come up often, and at times get really strong and overwhelming.  Notice the thoughts, label them, and then let them go, knowing they will come up again and again.  The aim is not to stop them, but to see them for what they are – thoughts passing through your consciousness. Notice when you believe the negative thoughts, and label these as “believed thoughts”.  Remind yourself to re-focus on what you do want, keep putting the negative thoughts to the side and come back to what you want to do.   This can take some effort and focus, anything meaningful usually takes time and effort. 

Be sure to celebrate the times you do remember, and note any changes you notice from following through.

I invite you to have a go for yourself if it sounds enticing, and let me know how you find it.